You mix your arguments here. Your basic argument is that you buy a home to live in for the long term, in which case a kitchen upgrade is not an investment, it is a quality of life issue that reduces your desire to move to a new home.

My wife and I do one upgrade to our home about every two years since we moved in 14 years ago (not including yard/landscaping improvements we do ourselves). We did this because it makes the desire to take expensive vacations elsewhere less enticing, because our home is so nice now. Granted, we live in a really nice flat to start with in one of the most beautiful cities in the wordl (Vienna, Austria), but I think the logic is valid.

Our plan certainly paid off since the pandemic started. We had made so many big improvements that "being stuck" at home a lot was no big deal.