"You hate men" is just a red herring. My ex-wife used to say, "I can't discuss this with you when you're yelling." Of course I wasn't yelling, but she would use that line or something similar to change the subject to my tone, or volume or whatever as long as it was not the issue I wanted to discuss.

At that time I was too sure of myself to understand I was being maniputlated. First I learned to just continue on with my point as you do - good on you! - and then I got a divorce lawyer