Why do we need to send a message to Putin? Did Russia need to send a message to the US when bombed and destroyed Yugoslavia? When we invaded and occupied Afghanistan for 20 years? Iraq for 10 years? When we destroyed Libya in 2011? When we invaded and occupied Syria? Note that the US is today, 27-Jan-23, occupying 1/3 of Syria.

None of those countries attacked us (even Afghanistan).

None of those countries declared war on us, or us on them.

The best I can see, the "message" the US wants to send to Russia is, "we, the US, control the world. We will take over whatever countries we want and threaten any country we want with missiles and troops on any countries border and no country has the right to do anything, even up to the point we invade and destroy your country."

That is the message we sent to the world with all those countries (and many more) in the last 20 years and arguably the last 60.

Russia's message, and they've said this quite clearly, is that they will not accept the fate of those nations above. And why should they?

Why should the people in Moscow have to accept troops and missiles in Poland and Romania when we would not accept Soviet missiles in Cuba?