There is someone in my extended family but no longer in my life that I wish you could convince of the truth of this. Almost everyone has some childhood trauma. Mine is minor compared to yours.

My relative has decided that, "I've had trauma. I won't deal with it, you have to deal with it." After that attitude tore my life apart twice within a few years I had to cut them off. That causes problems as well, but 100x better than having to react to the random but recurrent irrational alchohol- and drug-induced tirades and demands, and particularly the knowledge that one could occur at any time.