The second to last time I got dumped I went to therapy to find out why I was picking the same type of woman over and over. I did not date then for about a year except for a fuck buddy.

Therapy worked half-way. I eventually met my wife, who was very different than anyone I’d dated before. She dumped me eventually, because I had changed what I was looking for in a partner, but still making the same mistakes in our relationship. I’m not saying she was perfect. We both made mistakes. She just pulled the plug.

I went to therapy again. I jettisoned the other half of the shit from my life (including a lot of people). My ex and I met up about 9 months later. She had also been in therapy. We’ve been together ever since, and continue to grow together.

Getting dumped was super painful, but definitely the wake-up call I needed to change some things in my life (including myself!). I also needed professional help to sort some very big things out. I’m sure not everyone needs to or can afford to go to therapy. Note that I didn’t have the same therapist for long. That relationship has to work as well.