The first half of your post was a pretty good description of my first marriage. The change in me came with my son. It is a longer story, but the leaving part definitely was not a Hollywood ending. More like the end of one phase and the beginning of another that would last another 15 years.

I was very happy to break the pattern of abuse from my childhood. I wish I could have done it sooner, but then I wouldn't have the wonderful son I have today!

I do take heart that I see a lot of change in public perception. It is the reason the screams for censorship from the establishment are so loud. It is definitely not a sure thing that we'll wake up in time to save our species, but it is not hopeless.