Thanks for keeping this a philosophical discussion about personal perceptions and not the standard, "You love Trump!" "Yeah? You love Bush!" shite that floats on the internet so often nowadays.
I don't know how old you are, but you might remember that Bill Clinton appointed his wife to fix healthcare in the 1990s. That became a huge issue, I think just as much for the fact that Hillary was unelected as it was because Hillary was very secretive about her process.
In his defense, Bill had campaigned on the country getting a "two for one" (or words to that effect) if they elected him they got Hillary in the bargain.
So Musk being an unelected force in Trump's administration? Not unprecedented, although I'll grant you that Musk appears to have a much bigger scope than Hillary Clinton did.
Apropos unprecedented: Bill Clinton used NATO to illegally bomb Serbia and then (also unprecedented) recognized Kosovo as an independent nation (before we built a ginormous military base there). I do business and have friends in and from Eastern Europe. They have never forgotten that unprecedented act. The first war in Europe since WWII. Illegal according to the UN.
You know who else didn't forget that? Vladimir Putin. It was part of his justification for Russia's invasion into Ukraine.
I've been living in Europe since the early/mid 90s. I work internationally mostly in Europe but with contact on 6 continents. When we invaded Iraq the world's opinion of the US changed, and NOT for the better. The demos in Europe against the US invasion were massive, but very lightly reported in the US.
Trump hasn't done anything close to that...yet. You make a good point that he still has nearly 4 years to royally fuck things up. Trump being Trump, that is a definite possibility.
Up till now it has been mostly talk. Trump is over the top negotiator, with the deft touch of a prime George Foreman. It is probably why he's gone bankrupt six times! So far, Trump has gotten some concessions, but along the way pissed off the Europeans even more than they already were after we fucked them over blowing up Nordstream and them extorting them on LNG prices.
In any case. Obviously I see this differently than you do, but I'm fully cognizant that "who is worse" is a very subjective call.