I’m not a psychologist or even close, yet I’m of the opinion that secondary toxic relationships are also bad for you. Meaning if you have friends (in my case mostly women friends) who continue to stay in toxic relationships even knowing the relationships are toxic, their bad relationship affects you personally.

It is completely anecdotal, but after I (finally!) got rid of my own toxic relationships, I made another step forward in my own happiness by cutting off relationships with several people who choose to stay in bad relationships. This was emotionally tough, as I felt like I was “abandoning” a friend, but at some point I realized I felt bad after hanging out with these friends. My wife and I would spend hours discussing person X’s toxic relationship(s). This “feeling bad” was short term, it occurred whenever I thought about person X, or thought about when we would be spending time together again.

I still feel a bit bad, but I understand these are grown-ups who make their own choices, particularly the choice to stay in a bad relationship rather than be alone for a while — or forever — and not be in a bad relationship.