I like a lot of what you write, but I think you're off on this one. Not completely off, because (obviously) all women aren't gold diggers. But all men aren't abusers. That is also obvious. That (I assume) was the commenter's point in your first paragraph.

Your second paragraph (I think) is also off. Who said the guy was making the statements equivalent? Of course a murderer is worse than a con woman. Saying you assume all women are gold diggers does NOT say you think they are equivalent to murderers. You assume too much.

Finally I think you miss the mark on your definition of a gold digger. You spend a lot of time writing about what gold diggers do, and how men respond, but not about what a gold digger IS.

A gold digger is a someone who cares less about me as a person or partner than my money. In my situation as a hetero man: If I lose my money, she's gone; If she finds someone who makes more money, she's gone.

Men can be gold diggers, too. I know two women who come from very wealthy families. Both of them have to weigh telling a guy they have money, and then wonder if the guy is together with them only for the financial cushion. Both families have the kind of money that if the ladies were looking for mates at the same level of income their prospects drop to the thousands across the country for one and to dozens for the other. The wealthier one went through a marriage only to find out the guy was a gold digger - by his own admission (although maybe he said that partly just to hur her).

I don't have that kind of money, but starting a few years after college I was making really good money. I was also quite naive about money, having not grown up with money. My first wife was definitely a gold digger (and not just that, but that is a long story). I learned the hard and expensive way what a gold digger is, and it jaded me for many years afterwards (also a long story).

I'm happily together (and married) to a non-gold digger for a very long time. But I've learned to be extremely wary talking about my money to everyone outside my nuclear family. And I mean everyone: business contacts, friends, and family. If you don't show your wealth, you'll see what people really think of you.

If you get to the point that you're calling a woman a gold digger, I don't think a relationship is possible (unless you're an idiot, want to show off for your ego, or just want sex).

To get back to the beginning, I think the guy's comment comes from a place of anger at being falsely accused of something that is virtually impossible to disprove, and he fired back in the same way.