I hope you listen to your partner better than you read comments and research.

First I would argue that you’ll spend more on average than $100. The best estimate I found online was “plan on” $200. For arguments sake, let’s go with your $100.

I VERY specifically said 10–20 evenings at a strip club. Taking an average there we’ve now got a $1500 budget for counseling and divorce.

Marriage Counseling ($75–$150, max. $200 — internet query requiring 3 minutes of typing and reading results): Let’s go with €125 to make math easier. 4 hours = $500. If counseling is going to work, you’ll know after 4 hours. Spend your remaining $1000 on an additional 8 hours, and enjoy the fact that during counseling you learned what your wife would really like to do at home, even if it is not legal in your state.

Mediated Divorce (typically $500–$1500)— internet query requiring another 3 minutes of typing and reading results): Let’s go with $1000 average. After your (sadly unsuccessful) 4 hours of marriage counseling, you realize you two were not meant for each other. But since you tried, you split amicably. You’re now able to go out and find a woman who makes you want to stay home and do pole dancing, if ya know what I’m talkin’ about…;-)

So mathematically you’re incorrect on average.

Your statement describing divorce as “whatever she takes out of you” says some things about your attitude towards marriage that maybe you ought to think about. I was close friends with a divorce lawyer for 15 years and have personal experience. It takes two to tango, bud. If your wife was home with the kids while you were working, well then she is owed a big chunk of your pay to take care of your children. Same if she gave up career chances to support yours, which is very often the case. I don’t want to generalize too much, but there is a reason that men have it harder than women in custody battles and divorce — because men more often walk out on women and kids and stiff their ex-family.

If you were a good father and husband, it may be time consuming, but in this electronic world we live in since the 1990s, it is relatively straightforward to prove. Here I know in extreme detail how true this is — to the point I was asked to provide tips and write my experiences for “Fathers for Justice.”

I’d say if you have to pay $100k for a contested divorce, you probably should pay sooner rather than later, because if it takes that much time and money to prove you weren’t a shitty father and husband you either have a bad lawyer, or a bad legal basis for not wanting to pay.

In any case the point is the same: If you don’t want to be home doing the things you are fantasizing about at a strip club, your money is better spent building up some testicular fortitude and getting out of the marriage — after first actually *gasp* talking to your wife about why you’d rather sneak out to a titty bar than stay home with her.