I have thankfully never had to fight on the floor of a subway train, but I have been involved in street altercations. The best solution is the one that ends before the violence begins. That often means letting your ego not get the best of you. It is impossible to say if this would have been possible with Penny and Neely.

In the situations where I was getting between my wife and potential danger it has never come (yet) to blows, but I'm very thankful for that. After the fact, I've thought, "That could have gotten bad." I'll never know where the tipping points were.

As you correctly say, "in the moment" you're unable to think much beyond, "Don't let him/them get behind me. Don't get surrounded. Whose in range?" I've never thought something like, "If I have to swing I should try not to hit him where he might go down and hit his head on the pavement and die." Life is not a "Jack Reacher" film.