I disagree that cheating once means you’ll cheat again, but that is coming from a faithful husband so I can’t say I speak from experience.

We’re all human. Physical attraction doesn’t stop because you get married. There is nothing wrong with fantasies (I’ve got plenty!!!), but you have to set boundaries for yourself, whether you’re married or not.

I travel often and meet a lot of people, both before I was married and now. My #1 rule is never go alone into a woman’s room/home or invite her alone into yours unless you’re prepared that it could end with sex. Not that it will. She may not want to, or may change her mind. You may, too. Making or accepting that physical invitation “to enter” is, for me, the (literal) doorstep. My personal Rubicon of infidelity.

Getting or giving a ride home, as with Nicole, was just one step away. Since she gave you a smile and a wink, there is little room to doubt that you were on the banks of my “Rubicon.”

I know enough people who’ve cheated to know the real problem starts after the sex. I mean, it is sex. It is almost good by definition if you are a guy. But now you have a conflict. As with every other conflict, you cannot know how the other person will react once the conflict begins. Will she escalate? Walk away? Tell your wife? Tell you she’s pregnant? Blackmail you? Will your wife divorce you if she finds out? Bobbetize you? That is a shitload of bad unknowns. The only way to avoid that is to avoid the situation.

Bottom line: If you’ve gotten so close to another woman that you think a couple hours of sweaty fun are worth the risks, you need to have a real hard look at your marriage, son.